MOBILE, AL – A 28-year-old Mobile, Alabama woman, Jessica Swanson, has finally been upgraded to stable condition after a tragic incident left her with a bar stool leg wedged in her anus.
On Sunday, they were celebrating her 8-year-old son’s birthday in the backyard of her mobile home when the 650 pound mother of two decided she needed a break. Swanson said she should have “known better” than to try to sit on the “less than sturdy” barstool that was seated next to the buffet table.
“I needed a break and I was hungry,” said Swanson. “That there barstool didn’t look so sturdy but it was right next to the food and I was hungry. All I ate all day was a half a bucket of chicken wings and some cornbread, I was starvin’. So I figured I could rest and have a snack.”
That’s when things turned tragic. Swanson says she slowly lowered her rear end onto the stool and it flattened to the ground. Well, not all of it flattened to the ground. “I made sure I went down slow. But I guess they don’t make chairs like they used to,” said Swanson. “It was awful. It was the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life. One of the legs went clean up my boo-boo and the other half broke off. Oh Lord Jesus help me.”
That’s when family members said they put Swanson in a wheelchair, got her over to the truck and it took 10 people to put her in the back. They took her to the nearest hospital where doctors performed emergency surgery to remove the wooden leg.
“I’ve never seen anything like it,” said Dr. William Humphrey. “According to the family members, they said it just zipped right up into her anus. And they were right, but we got it out. Poor thing got 20 stitches inside and out.”
According to the family members, Jessica is doing just fine and was released from the hospital on Monday. Jessica says when she’s feeling better, she is going to call the barstool company and complain about the structure of their chairs. “I’m not gonna to file no lawsuit or nothing,” Swanson said. “But I just wanna them to know they need to build a better product.”